It really feels like just yesterday that we were patiently waiting for our first wee babe to make his arrival- yes we knew he would be a he- no doubt about it on the ultra sound. I loved being pregnant I felt great and beautiful and like I was doing something important for the first time ever- I was growing a human! Then this little man arrived a week early- as first babes often do- and we were parents just like that in what felt like a blink of an eye.
We had no idea what we were doing and so we did what felt right- I didn't want to let this one out of my sight and so he slept with us- in our bed or beside us in his bassinet. This first wee babe of mine and I were insuperable- I took this kid everywhere- on his first day out of the hospital we went out for breakfast and for some reason people were surprised- they kept asking us why we weren't at home. Anyways as I mentioned we had no idea what we were doing we just did what felt right and then at some point we started to feel like we were getting the hang of things- he slept through the night, ate everything offered and had the sweetest disposition- my little buddy.
Somewhere along the way we began to refer to him as The Boy- as in The Boy climbed the bookshelves again, The Boy broke a jar of pasta sauce on the tile floor, The Boy ate goose poop. Yes this wee babe of ours had turned into a toddler and once again the Mr. and I had to adapt and did not know what we were doing- but adapt and evolve we did and once again we just did what we felt right- we met temper tantrums with hugs and the occasional time out, we met his voracious appetite with kale and organic sausages, we met his extreme energy with lots of outdoor adventures.
Five years- he is going to be five years tomorrow- and oh I look at him and still see the wee little babe at the top of the screen. I think about all the things he has learned about just in the past year alone fishing, building things with a saw, soccer, gardening, camping, where sand comes from- this alone fills me with awe. We made this kid and we ( and all the people who love him) are filling him up one grain of knowledge at a time- I can see things when they click for him and it is amazing!
This "big" kid of ours is so excited about life- he has such huge feelings about living and he is learning to navigate those feelings which can be overwhelming at times. Once again the Mr. and I find ourselves like fish out of water- not always sure what to do or say. We remember all to vividly the unfairness of childhood and try to be sensitive to that- at least trying to provide an explanation when a grievance arises- why do adults get to stay up?
This world of boy is completely unknown to me as I grew up with a sister- the wrestling, the mess and the shear amount of dirt that seems to follow this kid. Right now on your fifth birthday my boy you love so much- Lego is at the top of your list- you love to build things- and take them apart for that matter. You love the beach, running, hide and seek, singing and music of all sorts- but mostly Black Keys, dancing, being chased and donuts. You have an insane imagination- as in it is weird and crazy and we love it!
I love the person you are becoming- sensitive and emotional- two important traits in any person but especially to be fostered in a young man. I want you to be sensitive to yourself and other people- too often men are told to suck it up and be a man- I want you to be sensitive. You are thoughtful and always seem to know when a person needs something like an extra blanket- I hope you never loose this compassion for others. You are quick to anger and to forgive- immediately remorseful- this will be a tough path to travel I know it well but you are strong.
My sweet boy, my little buddy, my Golden Pig we love you so- we are so proud of you! We might not always know what we are doing or where we are going-but we can always figure it out together. Happy Birthday!